Breathe
by LostInKaos
Summary: Roger comes home and Mark doesn't answer... why? charater death


(AN: I got the idea for this story well reading Fluoxetine Hydrochloride by volitaire the overdose chapter. It's a good story, so go read it. This was brought to my head while I was reading that. So I have to give credit to that story for helping me coming up with this. It's sad and I'm not sure all the details are correct, but go with it.  
I don't own rent, but i do owe rent... maybe i should pay that soon... :-/  
**Warning:** character death.  
**Pairing: **Mark and Roger... you pick if it's slash or friendship, I didn't have a particular one in mind. Use your imagination.)

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**Breathe**

Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…

Just focus on breathing and the pain will go away…

Breathe… just breathe…

I didn't think it was meant to hurt…

I thought it was suppose to end the pain, not make more…

Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…

It will be over soon…

Soon…

"Mark!"

Oh no… he's not meant to be here…

Breathe in… breathe out…

"Mark are you here?"

If I just turn on the water, he'll leave me alone…

If only it didn't hurt so much to move…

Come on Cohen, you have to…

Breathe in… breathe out…

Just a little farther…

Oh god, I can't…

"Mark?"

Don't let him know you are here…

Don't make a noise…

"Mark, answer me!"

He wasn't meant to be home…

I was suppose to be alone…

Alone…

Like always…

"Mark, don't do this! Where are you?"

Breathe in… breathe out…

Pain…

So much pain…

Oh no… I didn't just kick that…

Shit…

"Mark? Are you in there? Are you okay?"

Go away…

Stop knocking…

Breathe in… breathe out…

"Mark, let me in."

No…

Leave me alone…

"Mark, please, you're scaring me."

Breathe in… breathe out…

Don't do that…

Don't make me hate myself for this…

Don't make me…

"Mark, open the door."

Go away…

Stop pounding…

Breathe in… breathe out…

Darkness…

So welcomed and yet so scary…

Breathe in… breathe out…

"Mark!"

Don't Roger, please don't…

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not"

Breathe in… breathe out…

Soon…

It will all end soon…

"Oh God Mark"

Tears… I hear them…

Warm arms pick me up…

Holding me against the rhythmic beat of his heart….

Breathe in… breathe out…

"Please, tell me you didn't"

Tears fall onto my face…

Tears form in my own eyes…

"Tell me no."

Breathe in… breathe out…

There isn't much time left…

It's slowly coming…

I feel the darkness incase me…

Breathe in… breathe out…

"Please don't leave me Mark."

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

…

Breathe in…

…

Breathe out…

A single tear falls on my face…

"I need you."

No more breathing…

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I walked into the loft and instantly knew that something was wrong.

"Mark?" I call, but I receive no answer. He always answers me, unless he is sleeping, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

"Mark are you here?" I ask. I look around, but I don't see a note. He always leaves a note.

"Mark?" I call with more panic in my voice. Please Mark, answer me.

"Mark, answer me!" he always answers. Why isn't he answering?

"Mark don't do this! Where are you?" please Mark. Tell me where you are.

I hear a noise from the bathroom. Why didn't he just answer me?

"Mark? Are you in there? Are you okay?" I call as I knock on the door. He still doesn't answer.

"Mark, let me in" I call, but still no answer.

"Mark, please, you're scaring me." Still no answer.

"Mark, open the door." I say as I pound on the door. Still no answer.

"Mark!" he has to be in there, he just has to be.

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not" if you would answer me, I wouldn't have to.

I open the door and stop dead.

My heart fell to the pit of my stomach.

I had flashes of April run through my mind.

Mark is curled into a ball clutching his stomach.

Pain is spread across his face.

"Oh God Mark" I say as tears start to form in my eyes. Why would he do this?

I quickly make my way over to him. I pick him up in my arms and cradle him next to my chest. His glassy blue eyes looking up at me.

"Please, tell me you didn't" but I already knew that he did. I saw the empty cup on the floor and the empty open bottle.

As tears filled my own orbs, they filled his as well.

"Tell me no." It was inevitable, it was a yes. Yes he had.

I look at him. More tears fill my eyes. His eyes open and close slowly as if he is trying to stay awake, but I know better.

He's dying.

He's dying in my arms.

"Please don't leave me Mark." I feel and hear his breathing start to slow. It comes in shorter breathes and farther apart.

A tear falls from my face and lands on his. He is fading, and fast.

"I need you" I whisper as I hold him close.

No more breathing.

No more motion.

All is silent.

All is still.

Life has left him.

I pull him closer to me and place my forehead on his. I cry and don't even stop myself.

I'll never know why he did it.

I'll never know why my best friend committed suicide.

But I do know I will always love him.

And miss him every day…

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(AN: that was the randomness that came to me... read and review... it always makes me happy...)


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